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Dear Laila,

Tonight is New Years Eve and mama is sick… So while daddy goes out I get to spend my night with you (I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way). We are going to hang out in bed with a box of Kleenex and Netflix. Lucky lucky you. I love you buggy, 2016 is going to be a wonderful year watching you grow up.

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Dear Laila,

I want you to know that whatever the circumstance is… I love you more than I ever thought humanly possible. Sometimes your father and I argue. I hope when you are old enough to understand that you never have to witness it. I never want you to blame yourself for anything, like I used to as a kid. You are very loved and I’m sorry because I know that everything won’t always be how I have dreamt it to be for you. I want only the best for you. I love you so much.  

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Dear Laila,

Sorry it has been so long since I have written. You have been waking up earlier in the morning to chat. I think it’s adorable, dad may be a little grumpy because “he has to work” – you keep doing you, little bug! I’ll talk to you at 6:00 am, no problem! We had a great time at your first Hanukkah. Nana and GG started you a fund for college! I’m so grateful that they were able to do that for you. Next week will be your first Christmas and I’m excited for that as well. You’ve started to mimic the sounds I make and I just had a dream that you said “stinky baby” (which is what I call you sometimes, forgive me!)

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. I love you.

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Dear Laila,

Before I had you I never knew why people wanted to have more than one child since I was an only child myself. Now I know. Although I can’t picture myself ever loving anyone or anything more than I love you, I also love you as a baby and I get sad thinking about you growing up. You are the sweetest little baby and I love squeezing and cuddling you. I love when you’re trying so hard to fight going to sleep but your eyes slowly become too heavy for you to keep open. I love your little pouty face but hate knowing your uncomfortable or sad when you make it. Sometimes it’s hard to get things done when you’re my responsibility for most of the day. You’re the biggest and most important responsibly I have and ever will have. I’m learning to try to take time for myself, but it’s hard when I no longer think about things in terms of what’s good for me, instead I think about what is good for you. I guess that’s what being a mom is all about. I love being your mom. I love you so much.

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Dear Laila,

Today is the first day I have fit into a pair of pre pregnancy jeans!!! We went shopping for you though, instead of me, because that’s how life works now. I got your dress for your photo shoot this Saturday and I am so excited to give adorable pictures of you this year as gifts. You’re trying so hard to roll over. I’m excited and scared for you to be able to do so. You are my sunshine. I love you more than you know. Xo

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Dear Laila,

Hi buggy! Daddy and I are waiting for our delayed flight so we can come home and snuggle you. Fingers crossed that we don’t get stuck in Dallas for the night because I don’t think I can handle being away from you any longer. I hope you have had fun with Nana! 

So excited to be home with you, love you more than you know.  

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Dear Laila,

I don’t want you to ever to forget to take time for yourself. Last night was our first night of vacation and your first night with Nana. I miss you terribly, but if I’m going to be honest, getting this time for myself is nice. Im going to talk with dad about making this a weekly event once we get home! (We’ll see how that goes). I hope you are having a good time with Nana (I know you are) and I’m glad to hear that you didn’t make her first night with you miserable. She loves you very much and someday you will realize that. In my case, with my Nana Bess, I realized that too late. I don’t want that for you. 

Miss you most. Love you lots. See you soon, sweet baby girl.

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Dear Laila,

Good morning my sweet nugget baby. Today I refuse to let you go. I leave for the airport at 3:00pm. I am terrified to leave you. Terrified. I know this trip will be good for your daddy and me but I wish so badly that you could come too. Ok I need to spend as much time as possible with you today. I’m sure I’ll write more while we are gone.

Love you to the moon and back, little bug

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Dear Laila,

Hi sweet baby. I just wanted to tell you how amazing my life is now that I get to be your mommy. You stayed with grandpa today when I went to a fancy shmancy luncheon with Nana. Grandpa watched you for 3 hours on his own and didn’t even feed you! This, little bug, is impressive because milk is the go-to solution when you are being fussy. You are grandpa’s new #1 girl and I know you will love going to their house when you get older. Hello chocolate, hello snacks, hello snuggles! Your family loves you so much. I love you so much. Tomorrow you are 3 months old! So crazy how fast you’re growing- luckily you’re still wearing newborn clothes and I haven’t had to “retire” any of your adorable baby clothes yet 🙂

Xoxoxoxo I love you I love you I love you